Adventures in Disney
by TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba
Summary: Logan loses - they ran away - Wade and Anna in Disney Land. The two have a wacky adventure yet still manage to leave the place standing. BlueVerse
1. Remember That One Time in Africa?

Deadpool: 3Blue3Moon3 does not own Disney or Marvel.

Me: That is kinda redundant.

Deadpool: What do you mean?

Me: You could have just said I didn't own Disney to make it shorter. You know, since Disney owns Marvel now.

Deadpool: Author chick say what? You're joking right? You made a funny.

Me: No, they really did.

Deadpool: Oh…

Deadpool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

(runs away, screaming hysterically)

Me: Um, Italics are songs.

Deadpool: THE HORROR!

* * *

Everywhere he looked, there were mouse ears. On the walls, carved into the streets, plastered on the windows. It was basically a city inside a city dedicated to a mouse. It was just a freaking mouse. What's with the obsession? Was it some kind of cult? Whatever. That wasn't important now. What was important was that he had lost his twelve year old daughter and her 'uncle' in Disneyland, Florida. He wasn't really sure how he'd lost them. He turned his back five seconds to growl at the annoying idiot dressed up like a duck who wouldn't stop following them and when he turned they were gone. They did it on purpose. He knew it.

Normally, losing someone wasn't a problem for Logan. His enhanced senses helped with that. However, tracking a little girl at the world's most popular amusement park during the summer wasn't exactly easy. Quite frankly, the place reeked of sweat, sugar, and piss. That was one reason he wouldn't let Anna go on the water park rides. He had her scent but it was too faint with every other scent floating around.

If he were anyone else, he might have gone to security. But he wasn't anyone else. He was the Wolverine and there was no way he was going to ask rent-a-cops for help. It was like that whole asking for directions thing guys had a problem with. Go figure. He would have to do it the old fashion way. Plus she wasn't alone. She had Wade and…she had Wade… crap.

* * *

Anna and Wade had been dragging Logan all over the park. At first, his 'pouting', as Wade and Anna had put, which was actually scowls and glares, had been 'adorable'. But that had gotten old after two hours. It was hard to enjoy the 'happiest place on earth' with a glowering badger breathing down your neck. So Wade and Anna had decided to ditch Logan at the first opportunity. Well, Wade had decided and threw Anna over shoulder and ran away then 'talked', i.e. pleaded, her to go along with it, claiming he couldn't be left alone for long periods of time without someone to talk to because he got lonely. That hadn't worked. Then he promised her to buy her hot fudge sundaes, a stuffed Genie, and get her into the Cinderella castle that was closed off to the non-filthy rich people, and whatever else she wanted.

Presently, Anna was eating an ice cream cone as they both strolled to 'Africa.'

"This is taking way too long," Wade said.

Anna shrugged.

"Nothin' we can do 'bout that."

He held up a finger to contradict her.

"Au contraire. We can hail a ride from one of those Mickey carts the security people have."

"I don't think those are for us to ride on."

"That's absurd. After all the cash they bled off us just to get in here, of course they would let us hop a ride. It's not like they need them for anything important. They just have fat, lazy security guards ride over the park all day."

At just that moment, Wade spotted a black pair of mouse ears that were mounted on the security carts. He raised a hand to his mouth and whistled and made a motion with his other hand to call the guy over. The heavyset man spotted him and pulled over.

"Yes, sir?"

"Hey, you mind giving us a ride to the, uh, Africa thing?"

"Is there an emergency?"

"What?"

"Is there an emergency?" the guard repeated.

"Uh, no, that's just a long walk and we're on vacation so I have a right to be lazy. It's in the Constitution."

"Really?"

"No, but the government's making up all this other stuff so I thought I'd just throw that one out there."

"Well, sir, we have a policy here that states that non-employees cannot ride the carts unless there is an emergency."

"An emergency, huh?" Wade mused thoughtfully. Never a good sign. Thought on Wade's part, that is. "What if something happened to you? Would it be 'going against policy' if we rode then, maybe even drove?"

The guard considered for a moment.

"No, I suppose not. That woul – "

He was cut off when Wade's hand hit a pressure point on his neck and he slumped in his seat unconscious. To anyone passing by, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He then unceremoniously dumped the man in the back of the cart , 'borrowed' his Costas, placed a convenient tarp over him and plopped down in his seat. He turned to Anna with a smile who had been watching the whole thing wile demolishing her ice cream.

"Headed my way?"

She just rolled her eyes and climbed in the other side.

"Yer crazy."

"Uh, no, I'm psychotic. There is a difference."

And with that, he drove off towards there previous destination. Along the way, he kept a steady commentary on the people they passed.

"Would you look at that guy? He looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

Anna giggled which only encouraged him.

"Eeeww. If I were trapped in a room with two tigers, that chick, and had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot her twice."

And then they passed a particulary hefty, scantily clad, black woman and Wade could not help but bust out with,

"_Nasty put some clothes, I told ya. Don't walk out your house without no clothes, I told ya. Girl, watcha thinkin' 'bout lookin' that to' down, I told ya. These men don't want no hot female that's been around the block female, you nasty girl."_

Anna joined him for the chorus. It should go without saying that they had been receiving looks long before this.

"_Shakin' that thang on that man, lookin' all stank and nasty. Swore you look cute, girl, in them dukes, booty all out lookin' trashy. Sleazy, put some clothes._

They repeated the chorus twice then went on.

"_Booty all out, tongue out her mouth, cleavage from here to Mexico, she walks with a twist, one hand on her hip, when she get wit'cha she lets it go._"

The woman noticed them and was rapidly making her over to their cart. Though they didn't have to walk, they weren't going very fast. This was unfortunate because she had three large, angry looking men trailing her. Not that Wade couldn't take them, but he would most likely be 'escorted' out of the park and ruin Anna's day. And he couldn't have that. So he did the first thing that came to him. He jumped off the cart, dragging Anna with him, screaming,

"Bomb! It's a bomb!"

Do I really need to go into the chaos that caused? Seriously? Fine. There was yelling and screaming. People shoved little kids out of the way who were too slow. It was basically just bedlam. The bomb squad was called to handle the bomb. (Duh) And you know, this is just gonna be a pointless distraction to the main, pointless story about the bomb squad looking like idiots and Peter (you have no idea how much funny there is behind the story of 'Peter' LOL) , the guard being interrogated by the FBI about being involved with terrorists.

"I keep telling you people, I'm a Mormon!"

"Special Agent Dave, is he being hostile?"

"I believe he is, Special Agent John."

"Sweet," Special Agent John pushed a button on the wall that sent a electric shock through him.

"These Disney facilities are pretty impressive."

"Mmhmm," Special Agent John agreed as he watched Peter convulse. (LOLOLOLOL! I know y'all don't get it! It ain't meant for y'all. Oh have mercy! Lol..ow)

Where the flip was I? Oh, right. They were pretty close to 'Africa' at this point. In fact, they could see it.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Of course. It wasn't, but it was funny."

Anna smiled.

"Yeah, I guess."

They walked through 'Africa' with Anna looking at everything with interest and Wade not. He'd been to the real Africa. This was just an imitation. Granted, it was a pretty good imitation but still. After browsing the bazaar, they made to the safari area. Unfortunately, it was closed for some reason or another that neither really paid attention to. Needless to say, Anna was not pleased. She turned around in a pout with her arms crossed and a fierce scowl that was downright Logan worthy. Well, that was unacceptable. It was then that Wade had another brilliant idea. He was on a roll today. He jogged up to Anna and whispered in her ear. The scowl slowly disappeared to be replaced with a wicked grin. They backed up a few paces then started running and screaming at the top of their lungs,

"Run for your lives! THEY'RE LOOSE!" ( I **really** want to try this)

Once again, everyone started freaking out and stampeding away. The duo had slowed down and moved over to the edges of the crowd and slipped onto a bench to watch the proceedings. Anna was practically dying from laughter. When every one else was gone and she could breath again, she wiped the tears from her and asked Wade,

"Ya think their 'Spain' has a runnin' of the bulls?"

"When did you get so evil? I love it," he stood, pulled her up, and tucked her bare hand in the crook of his arm as the two sauntered out of the deserted streets of 'Africa'.

As it happens, Orlando, 'Spain' does not have the running of the bulls. They do, however, have flamenco dancing. Wade had bought Anna a red, orange, and yellow wrap-around skirt that she put on over her grey pants that didn't match her blue tank top in the slightest. No one really cared though, as the two twirled around the dance floor, her skirt swirling around her white sneakers as Wade spun and dipped her playfully. Presently, they had the floor to themselves as the crowd clapped to the beat and the band played. When the song ended, the people sent up an uproarious cheer, and Anna and Wade bowed and curtsied respectively. They took their seats at their tables.

"We've gotta do that again!" she was grinning widely at him.

"I could dance all night, if that is the senorita's wish."

"Lemme catch my breath first, sugar," she said and sipped her watered down, very, very watered down, 'wine'. It was so watered down, it really couldn't be called wine.

Wade noticed a boy, about fourteen, approaching their table. Nicely dressed for tourist clothes, clean little baby face, dark hair, and blue eyes. Probably going to ask Anna to dance. No way in hell. Normally, Wade wouldn't mind. If it Jimmy was here, he'd be muttering about teenagers and their hormones and how he was going to dissect the 'little punk'. But this kid had this _**look**_ on his face that Wade did not like. The kid came up and had the gall to smile at him and tap Anna on the shoulder.

"Would you like to dance?"

She looked him up and down. Just as she opened her mouth, Wade jumped out of his seat, reached over and slapped the boy full across the face. Anna just stared at him. The boy's face was priceless. His eyes were bugged out, mouth open, staring at him in horror. Wade merely walked around the table, took Anna's hand, and pulled her through the silent restaurant to the exit. Once they made to the street, Anna yanked her hand away.

"Why did you do that? He just wanted to dance with me!" Anna yelled at him, so mad she was trembling, and once or thrice again drawing attention.

Wade answered, her looking completely unapologetic, though a little cowed by her anger.

"He had that look on his face."

"What. Look?"

"The look that says 'I need to be slapped'. Just what was I supposed to do?"

Anna just glared at him.

"Come on. Don't be mad. He wasn't a good guy."

She put a hand on her hip and cocked it out.

"I'm not sorry. I'd so do it again."

"…"

"He was totally out of line."

She didn't say a word.

"Don't be that way."

She remained silent.

"Fine. Be that way. I can play the silent treatment too."

He crossed his arms and stared her down. Anna didn't blink.

They stood like that for a good five minutes. You know, 'cuz they are stubborn like that. During that time, a small crowd had gathered, thinking that the two were apart of a show or something. They were partly right.

Wade suddenly threw himself at Anna's feet, clutching her skirt.

"Please, please, please talk to me! You know I don't do well with the quiet! It scares me. Please! I promise I won't slap anymore little punks no matter how much they deserve it! Anna, please, speak to me!"

She looked down at him dispassionately as he gazed at her with his best impression of a kicked puppy, completely ignoring their enraptured audience. Then she sighed and rolled her eyes and hauled him up.

"You are so pathetic."

"Yay!" he immediately perked up and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Off to the castle!" he declared with a pose and hauled Anna behind him. The crowd clapped and parted out of their way. One boy got a little too cheeky and wolf whistled at her. Wade immediately rounded on him, yelling,

"You keep your eyes in your head, boy, or I'll cut them out!"

"Wade!"

"What! I said I wouldn't slap them anymore."

* * *

Me: Don't worry 'bout Wade. He'll be fine.

Deadpool: THEY'RE GOING TO DESTROY US ALL!

Me: Ahem...I have never been to Disney land so I don't know what you would call the area where you keep 'africa'. I'm not done with this and I'm not sure when I'm gonna finish it. I need pranks people. Let me know if you laughed, maybe just a chuckle.(Deadpool in the background: DESTROY US ALL!) I'm gonna do another version of this…at some point. I don't own that Destiny child song either. I like it and find it hilarious, and now ironic considerin' how all of them now dress. This is based off a conversation from my other story, She Got It Honest.

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**

Deadpool: DESTROY US ALL!

Me:WADE! SHUT UP!

Deadpool: (whispers) destroy us all....


	2. Where Magic Happens

If I did say I owned this, and they tried to sue me, wouldn't they have to sue my parents since I'm a minor? LOL. They'd would sooooo kill me. LOL. I own it. Lol.

KIDDING! I don't own nada. That would be so funny.

* * *

The two made it through 'Spain' without further incident and continued on towards the monorail. On the way, they passed by a parade. Anna caught Aladdin's gaze and he winked at her(1). She just barely had enough sense to grab Wade's shirt before he tried to lunge at him.

"Wade. Stop it now."

"You're not the boss of me," he scoffed, crossing his arms.

She just glared. He looked back.

"Who wants ice cream?" he asked brightly, trying to change the subject.

Lucky for him, Anna was in a good mood, what with Aladdin and all, so she decided to let him off the hook. They weaved through the crowd, headed to one of the vendors, when Wade was bumped into by a sixteen year young boy.

"Excuse-moi," the boy, nodded his head to him, but Anna could have sworn his eyes were on her behind his shades.

"Ne vous inquietez pas," Wade responded airily, and they continued on their way. Anna looked back, and the boy smirked at her, bowing slightly at the waist. Anna blushed and rolled her eyes. They waited in line a short time before they were second to go.

"Now he knows good and well he doesn't need that," Wade commented on the man in front.

"Wade," she admonished him, smiling, "don't even start."

"What? I'm just sayin'," he left it where it was.

The man moved on, and they stepped up to the young man behind the counter and placed their orders. He didn't attempt to flirt with Anna or have **that** look, so Wade decided not to give him a hard time.

Anna requested mint chocolate, and Wade,

"Let me get a bowl of, you do have bowls don't you? No, I don't mean those dinky little cups they give you to rinse and spit in at the dentist's office. I mean a real bowl. That's it? Whatever. One of those. Tootie fruitie on the bottom with caramel, rocky road in the middle, and uh – What? You're out of rocky road? How could you possibly be out of rocky road? What is wrong with you people? That is just – I – it -."

Deep breath.

"All righty then. Cookies and cream in the middle. Do you have that? Okay. Strawberry on the top. Mmhmm. Thank you."

He muttered darkly under his breath in Italian as reached in his pocket for his wallet. He pulled his empty hand out and quickly searched his other pockets. And then, realization dawned on him.

"That damned little Frenchy stole my wallet!" he yelled, startling the people around him.

Anna let him scream – sorry, women scream, men – yell death threats and curses on the boy and his mother. The workers and by-standers were too stunned and afraid to move.

"Dishonor! Dishonor on him, dishonor and rabies on his cow of a mother, dis – "

"Wade! Enough already. Let's go," she turned and walked a few steps, expecting to be followed.

"I will not go! I'm not done cursing his family. May your mother end up in a two bit whore house and your carcass – "

"Stop quoting the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and – "

"Stop interrupting my tirade!"

"It's not a tirade. It's a fit. You're actin' like a baby."

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am not!"

"You so are!"

"I am so not!" he emphasized it by stomping his foot and pouting.

Then he realized what he just did.

"The bloody Mary!"

Anna just smirked at him.

"Oh, shut up."

She stuck her tongue out at him,

"Come on. We still have to see the pirate show before we go to the castle. And maybe we'll get lucky and spot the 'fils d'une ânesse malade'," she said, quoting Wade on that last bit. (2)

"Yeah, okay. And when we find him, he's going to pay. Oh, yes," he cackled maniacally as the two walked away.

The cashier took off his name tag that read 'Paul' and hopped over the counter.

"These people do not pay me enough to put up with nuts like that on the daily."

* * *

Up on a stage designed to look like a ship, two pirates dueled each other fiercely, captivating the audience. Most of the audience.

"Boo! You suck! Are you kidding me? He left himself wide open! Run him through, you moron!" Wade screa – ahem – yelled at the two actors on stage from his seat, front and center. Three people in the row behind him leaned in their seats to hush him for the umpteenth time. The person sitting next to him had long since moved on.

"Don't you shush me! This is my freedom of speech. And my freedom of speech says these guys suck meat balls!"

Anna laughed.

The two actors, finally having enough, stopped trying to ignore him and addressed him.

"Look, buddy, this isn't as easy as it looks. Give us a break," said Captain Jack Sparrow.

"You're right. It's not as easy as it looks. It's easier if you have an iota of skill! What you're doing is just disgraceful. A retarded monkey could do better!"

"Well, then why don't you try it?" Captain Barbosa snapped.

"I wi – Hey, wait a minute. Are you implying I'm retarded? And a monkey?"

Anna rolled her eyes, grateful for the forty-second time that day that they'd gotten Wade's guns away from and that he was showing such restraint with his knives.

"What is wrong with you?" Captain Jack actually sounded like he wanted to know.

"Several things. If I told you, I would have to kill you. No, seriously, I would totally have to kill you then I would have to kill me. So, I just prefer not to tell you."

A third of the people got up and left the theatre. Don't ask me what's wrong with the other two thirds. I sure as heck don't know. Captain Barbosa calmly exited stage left.

There was an awkward silence as Captain Jack, his real name is Randy Jackson, no relation, went over to the right curtain, talking with the director or somebody, I don't know how these things work. He came back, center stage, and addressed the remaining crowd.

"I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but this show cannot go on without its Captain Barbosa. If you go to the customer service counter – "

"She can do it," Wade volunteered Anna, picking her up and dumping her on the stage, despite her protests and slapping.

"Uhh," Randy looked at the glaring pre-teen in front of him to the man in the front row beaming at her to the director behind him, safely backstage. He held his hands thumbs up and mouthed 'Go with it.' Randy mouthed 'Overtime'. Director shrugged and waved it away.

"Well, if all of you give us a few minutes with hair and makeup – "

"No," he was surprised at the forcefulness the little girl was able to put into that one word. "Just give me a hat and a sword."

A stage hand wash stumbled onto the stage and waved nervously to the crowd, before jogging over to Anna. She accepted the hat and sword with a gracious thank you, and the hand clipped a mic onto the sleeve of her shirt before scurrying off the stage.

"Do you know the lines?" Randy asked her.

"Nope. How 'bout we just improvise?"

She took her stance, feet apart, with one arm behind her back and the other poised in front. Randy adopted a much more lazy stance, in accordance with his character as Captain Jack.

"When I beat ya, Jack, the Black Pearl is mine forever. And so is yer hat," Captain Barbosa snarled.

Randy couldn't even spell 'improvise' and was caught off guard, floundering with what to say. Anna used this to her advantage, as she had been taught and attacked. When your opponent is just gobsmacked over something you said, take him out.

She lunged at him. He blocked her, sloppily. She wasn't sure if that was his character or actually him. She attacked him viciously, paying no heed to the fact that she was pushing him towards the front of the stage with her onslaught. Randy yelped when her last hit struck him in the chest and he fell backwards off the stage in the seat next to Wade who immediately stood up out of his chair and proceeded to give Anna a one man encore. When he realized no one else was clapping, he turned around and pulled five large knives from out of nowhere and held them in both hands.

"Clap."

And they did. The people outside the theatre looked around wearily, paranoid of another stampede.

Anna preened, naturally, bowing and blowing kisses to the crowd. Wade stepped forward and extended a hand to help her hop down. She landed gracefully and walked over to Randy, still sprawled out in his seat.

"You okay?"

"Aside from being completely embarrassed, I'm fine," he smiled at her and stood up. Kneeling with a flourish in front of her, he plucked the hat off his head and presented it to her.

"Cool," Anna tossed her hat over shoulder, smacking Wade in the face with it, and accepted her official Captain Jack Sparrow hat.

She looked over her shoulder at Wade, who was picking feathers off his tongue.

"I think we've done enough damage here, don't you?"

"Well, no one is bleeding, nothing is on fire, or – "

"On to the castle, it is."

"You never let me have fun."

"Here, you can wear the hat."

He stared at it a moment, and then,

"Coolness," happily situated it on his head.

* * *

After stealing, I mean, 'commandeering' another cart, the two arrived outside the Princess castle. They stepped out, and Wade leaned over the back of the cart and patted a lump covered by a tarp.

"Good man."

The lump groaned.

They walked around the left of the building, ignoring the little 'tour' that only took you one way through the hall of the castle and not up the stairs where they kept the fabled shoe, until they came to an area that was blocked off by a fancy, nine foot tall, privacy fence and then went to the right side that was similarly enclosed. Wade turned to Anna and said,

"All right, we can do this bold and silly, sneaky and totally awesome, or duh."

"Does sneaky involve the vents this time?" she deadpanned.

He pouted and crossed his arms.

"Well, it did."

"Uh-huh. Let's just do 'duh'."

"Aaww, that's no fun."

"Then don't even suggest it as an option."

"Whatever. Come here."

She stepped up to him, and he picked her up around the waist and threw her over the fence. She was too surprised to scream but managed to land in a crouch. Wade jumped over the fence in a flip and landed gracefully just in front of Anna, grinning like the mad man he is. Until she smacked him on the back of the head.

"What the hell!" she whisper-shouted at him.

"Language."

"What is wrong with you?"

"You of all people should know better than to ask me that."

She glared at him.

"What? This is 'duh'. You said to do 'duh'. Now you're mad at me?"

"Just give me a lil' warnin' the next time you're gonna do that."

She walked over to the door that read 'Emergency Exit' and stood next to it, waiting for Wade. These guys definition of 'emergency' is slightly different than Disney's. Wade came up behind her and noticed that the door was already unlocked. He jerked it open to see if the alarm would go off. Nothing. Anna was looking at him curiously, like playing with doors was the weirdest thing he'd done today. All things considered, it kind of was.

He just shrugged and gestured for her to go inside. They were in a service hall, with janitorial closets to either side and the door out straight in front of them. When they reached it, it was also unlocked, and Wade poked his head out to check the area. It being clear, he stepped out and held the door open for Anna.

He spread his arms wide.

"Ta-da!"

She crossed her arms, unimpressed.

"This is what everyone sees. I wanna go upstairs."

"Brat," he muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Where, oh, where are those stairs?" he turned and walked to the right with Anna staying where she was as she watched him wander farther from the stairs which were on the left. She rolled her eyes and went up the stairs. He'd figured it out and find her eventually. She looked all around her. On the walls, were pictures of the princesses with their princes, in lovely dresses, that she actually thought were very pretty but would never admit it.

She passed by several room but found them all to be locked and frowned. Maybe she shouldn't have left Wade. At least he could get the doors open. And he really should have caught up to her by now. Her curiosity overcame her worry when she came to a huge, golden door and noticed it was slightly ajar. Looking left and right, she pushed open the door and stepped in. And her jaw dropped.

Apparently, she was in Belle's room because on a table next to the wardrobe was a red rose actually hovering inside a glass dome. She knew the rose wasn't actually supposed to be kept in Belle's room but details, details. Anna rushed over to the rose and carefully removed the glass, gingerly placing it on the floor. The rose still floated and it actually looked like light was sparkling off of it. She raised her hand to touch. Just a few inches away, she was startled when she heard,

"What are ya doin'?"

She quickly jerked back and spun around, barely suppressing a yelp.

"Don't do that! I 'bout near died," she panted.

"Desole, petite," he chuckled from a doorway leading to another room she hadn't even noticed.

"I am not little," she huffed and actually looked at the boy in the familiar pair of shades.

"You!" she pointed him.

"Moi," he pointed at himself.

She planted a fist on her hip.

"You're the boy who stole Wade's wallet," she informed him matter-of-factly," and now he's gonna kill you."

He smirked at her.

"Is that right?"

"Yup," she popped the 'p'.

"And that's really too bad, 'cuz you're kinda cute if a gal looks past the whole thievin', swamp rat thing you got goin."

He stepped forward.

"_Idiot. Why did you call him cute?"_

"Chere, 'm flattered, but I think I'm just a little too old for you."

"'_Cuz he really, really is."_

"First off," she walked up to him and poked him in the chest," my name is Anna."

He took her hand and kissed it.

"Remy Lebeau. 'S a pleasure."

She snatched it away and willed herself not to blush.

"It _is_ your pleasure. Secondly, ain't no one even thinkin' 'bout you like that. Now give back the wallet with everythin' you took, and I can keep Wade from killin' you."

"I didn't think ya cared."

"I don't. I just don't wanna have t' help him hide your body," she said while playing with her hair.

Remy reached up and removed his shades, revealing his red on black eyes.

"_Wow."_

"I don't think you mean that."

All of the sudden, Wade burst through the door and slammed it behind him. He looked around, panting, and saw Anna and the little thief, who was standing just a tad too close to her. Anna saw his look and tried to deter him.

"Where were you?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm not entirely sure. The authoress just wanted me away for awhile so she could give you two some alone time," he explained to an exasperated Anna and a confused Remy.

"Now back to the business."

He flicked his wrist, and a wicked looking knife appeared in his hand.

"Merde," Remy cursed, backing up to the window.

"Wrong, boy," Wade corrected him, excitedly. "The word is murder."

He took a step forward, a mad grin on his face. Remy frantically looked around for an alternative escape route that didn't involve breaking the reinforced windows and jumping two stories.

"Wade, enough," Anna told him. "We both know you're not actually gonna kill him."

"Um, I had kinda planned to. I already found where we can stash his body!"

"Look, he didn't even take any money," she held up the wallet, and Remy stared at it like it was an alien.

"When did – How - ?"

"Oh, snap! Anna just thieved a thief," Wade hooted.

Anna, seeing that Wade had come out of his 'kill, kill, die, die' mood, decided it was safe to treat him like a bag boy.

"Go stand over there," she pointed to the opposite wall.

"But – "

"Over. There."

"Man, I can't do nothing!" Wade huffed and stalked away.

Anna looked at Remy.

"Ya stole from me," he sounded and looked shocked.

"You started it."

She could feel the excess from the glare Wade was shooting at Remy and knew he was considering this flirting and decided to wrap this up.

"I, uh, better go," she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Bye."

Remy took her hand and raised it to his lips, not taking his eyes off Anna's. She swore she heard Wade's jaw hit the floor.

"Adieu, cherie."

She stared at him, then abruptly turned around and started walking for the door, knowing she was blushing. Then, she stopped, walked back to him and kissed him on the lips. She didn't look at him as she turned to Wade. His eyes were bugged out of his head, and Anna was afraid that his jaw had actually come unhinged what with the way it was hanging.

"Come on," she grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door. She looked back, but Remy was already gone.

He was silent for all of a minute before he started.

"Since when do you like boys?"

"Shut up," she tried to sound threatening but the dreamy tone in her voice didn't help.

Silence…

"Anna and Remy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," he sang at the top of his lungs.

"WADE!" Anna screamed and tried to hit him, but he wisely took off running, laughing his head off.

* * *

Logan sat on a bench in front of a Mickey Mouse head shaped fountain, smoking a cigar. Usually, smoking wasn't allowed, but no one was brave enough or loved there job _that_ much or felt they got paid enough to tell him that. He had long since given up on trying to track 'his kids' after he found out about the cart incident, and 'Africa', and heard about some man going around slapping, tackling, tripping, and throwing random objects at boys, and just relax. He had the keys to the truck, and he knew where Wade's guns were. They would come to him.

It took a few hours, but he finally spotted them headed his way from the castle. For one reason or another, Wade was wearing a black pirate hat, running from Anna who was wearing a colorful skirt she hadn't had on when she left, yelling curses and threats at him. Wade spotted him, ran to him, and dove behind the bench.

"Hey, Jimmy. Watcha dooooin?"

"I don't know what you two did today," Logan told him,

"What makes you think we did anything?" Wade shot back, "Who have you been talking to?"

"And I don't wanna know," he continued like he hadn't been interrupted.

At that moment, Anna ran up, panting.

Logan stood up and spoke around his cigar,

"I hope y'all had fun, 'cuz we ain't never comin' here again," and walked away.

Anna and Wade looked at each other and followed him, wanting to say something but both sensing this was a time to be silent. They followed him out to the parking lot to the truck and Anna took shot gun. They were well onto the highway before Wade spoke.

"What about Six Flags?"

* * *

"What ya think takin' him so long, Etienne?" a tall, blonde haired boy asked his companion as they waited inside the fence on the left.

The red head looked at him and shrugged.

"Could be anythin', I s'pose," he responded, scratching his shaggy hair, then grinned,

"But, Lapin, I bet you anythin' it involves a _fille_."

"Ya know me so well, Eti," Remy called as he strode out the side door.

"So is he right?"

Remy just smirked at them.

"Lucky dog," Lapin muttered.

Etienne rolled his blue eyes.

"At the very least, did ya get it?"

Remy's response was to pull up his shirt and remove a flat bundle from his waist band. He unwrapped the cloth to reveal a silver mirror with a gilded rose and other designs.

"Ugh, 's such a chick thing, though," Lapin moaned.

Etienne shoved him.

"It was your dare, idiot!"

"Whatever," he dismissed him, "It's Remy's turn."

"Eti, truth or dare?"

"Can't believe we playin' this. Truth."

"How much younger would ya date a girl?"

* * *

A/N: I forgot last time. That bit about 'they're loose' comes from a lot of different profiles, and the 'I need to be slapped face' comes from the comedy of Mark Lowry. Go to YouTube and put in his name with 'Momma had enough'. Hilarious.

Is there another word for stage?

I was gonna make this a one-shot but that would have been one long aspen one-shot. So it's a two-shot.

I interrupt a lot in my stories. That's just so I don't have to finish the thoughts.

I don't know the name of the train. Is it Epcott or is that a center or something? I have no idea whatsoever how this Pirates of the Caribbean thing is supposed to go, either. I've seen the movies, but there are three of those things and they are veeeery long. Forgive my laziness and inaccuracy. LOL I was gonna put unaccuracy.

As I wrote this, I was wonderin' why everything seemed so funny. Then I realized I had two sodas, four chocolate kisses, and chocolate cake today. LOL. Diabetes anyone?

Does anyone mind that this gets a bit unstructured towards the end?

(1)My sister went to Disney Land or World, whichever one is in Florida, rlove22, and he actually did.

Y'all know where 'dishonor' comes from. I'm gonna get a dog and name him Mushu.

(2)son of a diseased ridden she ass. That's what it's supposed to say.

I love the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly so much. Never gets old.

A/N2: what a weird and long author's note

I should really do the next chapter of the main story. Ugh, I am so dreading it.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and favorited this story. **REVIEW: did you laugh? Yes or No**


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